Empathy means sympathising with others without sinking into your own feelings. This is exactly what effective leadership needs: commitment, resonance, but it should not be too close. 


Management that is too distant often gives employees the feeling that they are being left alone. This reduces commitment, increases frustration and is therefore not very effective.


Management that gets too involved, that is emotionally affected, loses its distance to the problem. Understanding is not enough to lead. Because leadership should continue. This requires an overview.


This is why effective managers have techniques for both associating (= getting closer) and dissociating (= setting themselves apart).



Association techniques:

- Active listening

- Take your time

- Silence (in the sense of: don't talk too much, take breaks from time to time)

- Name your feelings (you look depressed/sad/tense/...)

- Enquiries: How are you?


Dissociation techniques:

- Name your role: From my role as xyz, the following is very important to me. (e.g. stereo guide)

- Reflect on your role, e.g:

        - I am not to blame for the situation, but I am responsible for dealing with it well

        - I am not responsible for the satisfaction of my employees. 

        - My job is to make my position clear. And not how the final decision is made.


Sources: linked