Origin
Managers with this pattern are often more harmony-orientated and have "bite inhibitions" when it comes to demanding things from their employees. If tasks are not completed, they say: "Didn't you get it?" or "Come on, I'll explain it to you again." Or they grudgingly do it themselves.
That is frustrating. This frustration is often compensated for in human behaviour. This begins with passive aggressive behaviour: You target the person and question them. It is sad how often employees are criticised in management circles. And it's an indictment of the manager himself: If I can't tell the person in question, I don't have to tell them off. Reinhard Sprenger puts it bluntly: "Complaining is the leisure activity of the losers."
If such things ferment over a period of time, it often leads to open attacks on the person. Managers then believe the person can't do it, they have to be dismissed, etc...
Antidote
This is a very damaging development. And a typical example of how it is easier to look for the other person's fault.
The antidote may be a bitter pill - but it is highly effective:
As a manager, I am responsible for everything that is not yet working.
In an ideal world, there would be no need for leadership! Because employees stumble, leadership is needed (and the strategy is not optimal, and the customers are difficult, and the other departments are more troublesome than the competition, and so on...).
The only sensible question you can ask yourself as a manager is this: How can I support the person in the current situation so that they can develop further? The answer in the above case is usually:
Don't swallow your frustration, give feedback! Fact and emotion.
"We agreed that you would do it by today. Today, when I ask you, you give me reasons why it won't work. That disappoints me. If I don't hear anything, I assume it's working."
When negotiating the arguments that follow such feedback, stereo leading almost always helps.
Further links
- Reinhard Sprenger: The decision is up to you