Managers are often in a dilemma as to whether they should enforce the objectives or listen to the needs of the employees. The answer is simple: both. Why? Because it is the most effective. Before we get to the solution, a little more of the problem:
The employee comes with a topic that puts me in a dilemma. Should I listen, even say that I understand, when I know full well that I have limited options?
When I listen, I reinforce the need!
If I say why it doesn't work, I frustrate my vis-à-vis.
Solution: Stereo guiding
Stereo guiding consists of three steps
- Recognising the needs of the employee
- Recognising the needs of the organisation
- Play the ball back
Recognising the needs of the employee
Behind this is the attitude: behind every question, behind every action of an employee, there is a need. With a little practice, you can deduce a positive intention behind every action taken by an employee. Here are a few examples:
- I need more pay: need to sell myself well and secure my livelihood
- That's not at all what employee XY does: stands up for his convictions
- Asking whether it fits: Need to do it well, not to make mistakes
- etc...
The first immediate reaction should therefore be to recognise the intention or the need: "I understand that you are working for your salary, I would do exactly the same if I were you."
... when I listen, I reinforce the need. That's why step 2 is coming:
Recognising the needs of the organisation
The manager now changes roles. It is important to formulate this clearly. It often helps to state your role: "As the person responsible for department XY, it is my job to keep an eye on the organisation's goals. Let me look at the situation from this perspective."
Please note: There is no differentiation from 1) here, but rather a juxtaposition:
Not: "But from the organisation's point of view, that's not possible because...
But rather: "Let's complement your view with a different perspective...
Once the role change has been declared, the manager can state the needs of the organisation very clearly, e.g: "We can survive if we are competitive. This means..."
It is often helpful to move back and forth between position 1 and 2. Even if they seem incompatible at the moment, they should be emphasised: Both perspectives are important!
"... we have to be competitive. Of course, I understand that from your perspective you feel you deserve more pay."
Return the ball
You often come to some new realisations when oscillating back and forth between 1 and 2. Otherwise, a third step is recommended. Pass the ball back. The poker delegation helps again. The ball can be returned as 1-7. A 4:
Yes, now we have a conflict of objectives. What do we do with it now, how do we move forward?
However, a 2.3 is also conceivable:
Thank you for this valuable information. I think this and this is the best solution because...
Or (if it's not a salary topic), depending on the topic, a 5.6:
How can I support you in making a good decision here?
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Sources: Schmidt, G. (2011), Curriculum "Hypnos-systemic counselling and therapy", Lenzburg