Situation dependency

People tend to behave in a similar way in certain situations. This is also the case when it comes to trust and control. If a situation is unfamiliar to us,  the need for control is an automatic companion. In familiar situations, on the other hand, we trust more and control less. Many people conclude from this that the opposite of trust is control. This is a wrong or too simple assumption. Because the situation has too great an influence on our actions for that. As soon as the situation is included, the assumption no longer works.

Control vs. ignorance

If a situation is unfamiliar, the strangeness  is usually met with control. For example, you want to find out what makes the new employee tick, what they can do and how they behave and control themselves on the job. But beware, if you don't change your behaviour, even though the situation is no longer unfamiliar and the employee is no longer new, a certain strangeness remains and trust cannot develop. If you decide not to control yourself in an unfamiliar situation, the behaviour is not to be described as trust, but as ignorance. They ignore the fact that the employee is new and needs a certain familiarisation phase during which monitoring is important and sensible. This also means that the situation remains alien and familiarity cannot develop.

Trust vs. mistrust

If we are familiar with a situation, it is easier for us to trust. If we do not trust, even though the situation is not unfamiliar, this is not called control (no, it is not!), but mistrust. In order to mistrust a person, there must be a certain familiarity. Because to distrust someone is to question the person very deeply and personally.

And that means?

Most people always behave the same way in certain situations. But that is not a must! We can't change the situation, but we can change our behaviour. We can use our behaviour to control whether the situation remains unfamiliar or whether familiarity develops over time. In the same way, we can make the situation feel foreign by controlling it in a familiar situation. It's about realising how you act in which situation and what consequences this has, so that you act more consciously next time.

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